By: Jeff Barnes
I am a pessimist by nature. I am as cynical as they come. People always ask me why I’m so angry. Maybe it’s because I have little faith in the future of our society or in the future of the planet Earth as a whole. Sometimes this carries over to some less-than-appropriate behavior on or near the beer pong table. I just can’t help myself.
There are a few things that are considered taboo to discuss at the table. Topics like politics and religion usually don’t go over too well in most situations. I’d venture to say the same holds true for the beer pong table. I’ll never forget when I wore my “Maryland for Obama” shirt during the World Series of Beer Pong IV. Most of the things that were said to me that day are not fit to print.
What does this all have to do with beer pong? Not much, I guess, except that since this is the “Friday Rebuttal” I’d be remiss not to mention the devastating tornadoes which claimed the lives of more than 300 Americans in several states this week. I’m sure some of you were affected in some way. But if you have been watching the news the last few days, you’d never know since the “real news” is the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, which took place early this morning. It also received top billing on CNN. And people wonder why I think the way I do.
If you’re wondering what I think about the Royal Wedding, just know that it is filed in the same section as “Ronny Hamilton” and his daily countdown and raffle spam. I could care less. But I’m well aware that there is a certain, usually ignored, demographic of beer pong player that does care, and I’m referring to women. Please note this also includes others, such as Haydée Djinn and Steve Healy.
Most of us have our eye on the prize when we enter a beer pong tournament. For some of us, it’s the cash. For others, it’s the entry code to the next big tournament. And in some cases, we are just trying to win that Kegstool or inflatable beer pong table we’ve always wanted. But most of us are missing the crown jewel of any beer pong tournament: The ladies.
"Women are the key to it all, think about it."
There has been so much talk about how to grow the sport of beer pong. How can we get it televised? Should the word “beer” get dropped from the title? And so on and so forth. But if we want to see the sport grow, we need to start appealing to the women. Women make the world go round.
Women are the key to it all, think about it. For those of us in serious relationships and/or marriages, we are all familiar with “the look." It’s the look you get when you tell your significant other that you’re going to practice beer pong on a Tuesday night or stay out late to play in a tournament, even though you couldn’t find time to spend some quality time the day before. If you’ve got kids and you lose the diaper money and come home one night empty handed, you get the look. Right Kessler?
For the average girl, beer pong can be an extremely boring event to watch, especially when the stakes are low. We, and by we I don’t mean myself but the tournament organizers, need to figure out a way to make beer pong events more female friendly. I’m sure there’s a way. Let’s face it: If I’m a single girl and I am looking to find an overabundance of young, attractive men eager to mingle, I’m going to a beer pong tournament. It’d be like fishing with dynamite. There’s a definite market there.
"Tournament organizers need to figure out a way to make beer pong events more female friendly."
I will commend tournament organizers for getting more females to compete the last few years. Most tournaments offer discounted (or free) entry fees for girl teams and I think that’s a great start. Where there are girls, the men will follow. Co-ed tournaments have also become a staple at most big tournaments. What better way to get girls to come back then giving them their first taste of winning in a competitive tournament?
Some girls, however, don’t need a male counterpart to win. Times they-are-a-changing. In Maryland, our new league structure requires at least two female players on each squad. Each week, I see some of these ladies shooting at a higher percentage than most of the male players. And around the country, several female players have made a name for themselves. Gone are the days when women were laughed off the beer pong table. It’s 2011. Unless you’re playing against the Fringles girls, there’s no such thing as having an easy win just because you’re playing against a female. We need to embrace these players and find more like them.
In the meantime, the best of luck to Prince William and Kate Middleton. She can play on my table anytime.
